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A Quarterly Journal
Jeffrey Woodward, Founder & Owner
Ray Rasmussen, General Editor

Volume 13, Number 2, June 2019

Maureen Kingston
Wayne, Nebraska, USA

Spring Tournament

Spare Rib Gal meets Chateaubriand Guy while waiting in line at the butcher shop. Saw sparks fly. They agree to share a meal. Only after he’s unpacked shallots, wine, a brick of butter does she begin to doubt. What if he’s a serial killer? A pitmaster keen to smoke her low and slow?

When the final veil of cheesecloth drops she’s relieved. Just beef after all—homely, untrimmed. Chateaubriand Guy wrestles with chain fat, sinew, connective tissue. His boning knife pauses for effect before stripping the tenderloin’s silver skin in a single yank. “At long last,” he says, affecting Big Daddy’s drawl, “Maggie-the-Cat’s slip on the bedroom floor.” The nude loin is indeed Liz Taylor gorgeous. Too much so. Spare Rib Gal suggests adding bacon strips to cover the exposed flesh. Her date goes another way, binds the tenderloin with soft twine, bathes it in oil.

winning snapshot
trout leaping
to kiss damselflies



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