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A Quarterly Journal
Jeffrey Woodward, Founder & Owner
Ray Rasmussen, General Editor

Volume 13, Number 1, March 2019
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Gautam Nadkarni
Mumbai, India


Cookbook for the Religious

How to Whip Up a Delicious Omelette:

Break one or two eggs – or three – into a steel container. You needn’t be a glutton. Beat it to the rhythm of Michael Jackson’s track ‘Beat It’, on the CD you bought last fall at the garage sale. Count your blessings. It isn’t everyone who can boast of owning an iPod.

Add salt and pepper to taste. Beat it again. Pour a little oil in the frying pan and heat gently over a slow fire. Pour the beaten eggs onto the pan and pray. With your eyes closed. The almighty is watching.

When you open your eyes, if the omelette has been burnt to a crisp, don’t fret. All you need to do is pick up your cell phone and dial your favourite restaurant. Ever since free home delivery was invented there’s been an answer to every such prayer.

Having tackled the omelette issue, think of what you would like to cook next.

wrong number
the chatty old lady
undeterred

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