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A Quarterly Journal
Jeffrey Woodward, Founder & Owner
Ray Rasmussen, General Editor

Volume 12, Number 3, September 2018

Ray Rasmussen
Edmonton, Alberta, Canada


Monday Morning:

I enter the physician's office, sit in the patient's chair and she inquires: "Tell me what brings you here."

"Rattlesnakes and women," I reply.

She leans forward, pen and pad in hand, scribbles something and says: "Rattlesnakes and women? I don't understand."

"The snakes came first," I reply. "On my last desert hike, I almost stepped on one that was buzzing away and didn't hear it. My hiking companions yelled at me to jump and I did, just in time."

"And women?"

"They mumble a lot and in particular tend to drop the volume of their last few words."

"Yes, some do. What about my voice level?" she asks.

"I break the world into two groups, those who speak up and those who need megaphones. You're in the speak-up camp."

"I come from a family with hearing problems and learned to raise my voice," she says.

"So wouldn't a small microphone my gal could wear like a necklace be a lot easier and much cheaper than a hearing aid?"

"We don't deal with electronic devices, but I can recommend a marriage counselor," she says.

Tuesday Morning:

driver's license eye exam –
the far-too-tiny writing
on the wall

Note: Previously published in A Hundred Gourds.



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